Blog Virgins
I'm a blog virgin. My cyber cherry is ripe and unpicked. It hangs, heavy with blog seed on the precarious branch of my interest.
What's the deal with these things? I've heard people can get a bit addicted to them. Some Iraqi guy got a film deal out of one. That's got to be worth the entrance fee. Which is, after all, nothing.
In other news, 'tis not long until we all decamp happily to Devon for a cottage-based holiday.
I should extrapolate somewhat for our US friends, whose knowledge of other countries is as shaky as their concern for human rights.
Damn.
This wasn't going to be a US bashing political style "blog" for a very good reason. Americans can be repugnant, but generalising is for idiots. Also, they don't have football hooligans do they? Well, they do, but they tend to wear uniforms.
Damn, there I go again.
Well, suffice it to say, that however much disdain I might feign (in the membrane) regarding a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' Yankees, I have much more disdain for Americans of the ilk that wish they were anything but. The sycophantic, self-conscious illiterati, those who actually think they can manage irony and sarcasm. You're not good. You people would crap on your own mums if you thought it would gain kudos from a French artist who made his name buggering wasps on the arc d'triomphe. You're the sort of people who laugh knowingly during Polish art-house productions.
I think the Americans should invade their own country, root out this empire of evil, then throw a big party for all the normal Americans. OK, so every country has these pseuds. No doubt in some quarters I would be considered one here in the UK. But I sometimes read the praise thoughtlessly meted out to UK figures by these bespectacled, achingly left-field nobheads on the basis that they aren't American, and want to vomit my own spine.
Why do I get so angry about this?
I'll tell you why. Partly because I am slighly insecure, and the lingering doubt remains that they may have attained the holy grail of all things, being right. But that's not really the crux of it. The crux of it is that their "intelligent" comment is entirely constructed to appeal to their peers. So that people will consider them "cool". Like people who slag off The Simpsons, but come up with stern, considered reasons why which include terms like "social","kudos" and "unrepresentative".
OK, that explains that. What has this got to do with your holiday?
Oh yeah. Well I'm off there. It's a big place Devon. But in America it would probably be someone's garden or something. Insignificant, but full of charm. It's in the south-west, and after an anus-achingly difficult job booking it, we finally got there. I get to fish for Salmon and Trout. Please write in with articles on fish being able to feel pain, as this will enhance the entire experience of ramming a razor sharp hook through their faces. Also, lovely walks etc. I may get some photos and let my hardcore fans look at them (that's you by the way - heck, you've been here from day 1).
This is Day 1.
Shut up.
What's the deal with these things? I've heard people can get a bit addicted to them. Some Iraqi guy got a film deal out of one. That's got to be worth the entrance fee. Which is, after all, nothing.
In other news, 'tis not long until we all decamp happily to Devon for a cottage-based holiday.
I should extrapolate somewhat for our US friends, whose knowledge of other countries is as shaky as their concern for human rights.
Damn.
This wasn't going to be a US bashing political style "blog" for a very good reason. Americans can be repugnant, but generalising is for idiots. Also, they don't have football hooligans do they? Well, they do, but they tend to wear uniforms.
Damn, there I go again.
Well, suffice it to say, that however much disdain I might feign (in the membrane) regarding a-whoopin' and a-hollerin' Yankees, I have much more disdain for Americans of the ilk that wish they were anything but. The sycophantic, self-conscious illiterati, those who actually think they can manage irony and sarcasm. You're not good. You people would crap on your own mums if you thought it would gain kudos from a French artist who made his name buggering wasps on the arc d'triomphe. You're the sort of people who laugh knowingly during Polish art-house productions.
I think the Americans should invade their own country, root out this empire of evil, then throw a big party for all the normal Americans. OK, so every country has these pseuds. No doubt in some quarters I would be considered one here in the UK. But I sometimes read the praise thoughtlessly meted out to UK figures by these bespectacled, achingly left-field nobheads on the basis that they aren't American, and want to vomit my own spine.
Why do I get so angry about this?
I'll tell you why. Partly because I am slighly insecure, and the lingering doubt remains that they may have attained the holy grail of all things, being right. But that's not really the crux of it. The crux of it is that their "intelligent" comment is entirely constructed to appeal to their peers. So that people will consider them "cool". Like people who slag off The Simpsons, but come up with stern, considered reasons why which include terms like "social","kudos" and "unrepresentative".
OK, that explains that. What has this got to do with your holiday?
Oh yeah. Well I'm off there. It's a big place Devon. But in America it would probably be someone's garden or something. Insignificant, but full of charm. It's in the south-west, and after an anus-achingly difficult job booking it, we finally got there. I get to fish for Salmon and Trout. Please write in with articles on fish being able to feel pain, as this will enhance the entire experience of ramming a razor sharp hook through their faces. Also, lovely walks etc. I may get some photos and let my hardcore fans look at them (that's you by the way - heck, you've been here from day 1).
This is Day 1.
Shut up.
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